


To Walk Away

by goingtothetardis



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fixed Points, Timelines, Touch Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 16:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6863578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/pseuds/goingtothetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Rose encounter a fixed event in time, and it triggers some emotional repercussions left over from the Time War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Walk Away

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for the-girl-in-the-polka-dot-dress on tumblr. She was a winner in my 500 follower fic giveaway and requested some emotional hurt/comfort after the Doctor experiences some flashbacks or memories from the Time War. She also wanted him to talk about his family and open up in ways we don't normally see. I'm not quite sure if I managed that, but I hope you like it!!
> 
> This is the Doctor and Rose in a recently established relationship, some time after TIP/TSP and Fear Her. I hit on the fact that the Doctor could sense something coming, and I believe that unease built on the anxiety of this particular situation and triggered some emotional events. 
> 
> Thanks to Hanluvr and Tenscupcake for giving this a look-over! :)

The TARDIS landed with a dull thud, and the Doctor held out his hand for Rose, waggling his fingers in invitation. Their fingers linked together effortlessly, and the Doctor sighed in relief when he felt Rose’s mind dancing around the edges of his. 

Almost immediately after reuniting in the TARDIS and saying their goodbyes to the crew from Krop Tor, the Doctor and Rose had, in desperation and desire, consummated their relationship, moving from whatever they’d been, the couple but not a couple to _officially_ a couple. In the many weeks since the almost disaster with the black hole, they’d further pushed the boundaries of their relationship, discovering miracles he’d never thought possible: the ability to share their minds with each other, to share not only their thoughts and feelings and memories, but also their shared physical pleasure through touch. 

Despite the joy of their new relationship, the Doctor had been bothered by a disturbance in his time sense. Something was coming. Something huge, something catastrophic. He and Rose had shoved the predictions of the Beast into the furthest corners of their minds and had charged forward into the unknown, into the future, into themselves, loving each other desperately despite not admitting it out loud. There were still some things he kept hidden from Rose, but he knew that if they wanted a full bond together, the time would come soon to share those things. 

The Doctor swung their hands between them as they walked to down the ramp and to the door. He held the door open for her and smiled widely in excitement as they stepped out on to… The dry ground of a river valley surrounded by mountains. In the distance he could see a shabby structure built into the side of the mountain. He frowned, and Rose looked up at him with a smirk. 

“Um, Doctor, this doesn’t exactly look like ‘miles of white beaches lined with coconut trees,’” Rose stated matter-a-factly. 

The Doctor sighed but gripped Rose’s hand a bit harder. There was something about this place that niggled his senses. It wasn’t a good feeling, and for once the Doctor wanted nothing more than to turn around and head back inside the TARDIS. He’d never been here before, he didn’t think, but then again, he wasn’t exactly sure where they were at the moment. 

He looked at Rose. “Rose, there’s something not quite right about this place. I’m not sure what it is, but I think maybe,” he stopped briefly. “I think maybe we should leave.”

Rose looked at the Doctor thoughtfully, but shared nothing but mild curiosity through their touch. “Are you sure, Doctor? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you walk away from a mystery. An’ this place, it doesn’t look dangerous. Course, lots of places don’t look dangerous.”

He knew she’d never seen him walk away from anything, as they’d always charged forward together, hand in hand, as long as they’d traveled together. The Doctor looked out over the valley and thought quickly. Exploring for a little while wouldn’t hurt, and really, they were already there. 

“Well, the TARDIS did bring us here, didn’t she? There’s usually a reason when the TARDIS ignores my expert navigation skills.” Rose giggled in response, and he shot her a mock glare, earning him a full burst of laughter. 

The Doctor shoved the uncomfortable feeling away as he and Rose walked along the river’s edge to the structure in the distance. It was probably nothing.

**+++++**

Three or four miles later, the Doctor and Rose approached the outer edges of what looked like a secure compound. The Doctor eyed the run down quality of the place in curiosity before drawing out his sonic screwdriver and pointing it at a crude fence built around the perimeter. For a brief moment, an elaborate laser field was visible, and the Doctor flicked off the sonic. 

“Doctor? What is it?” Rose asked. 

“It doesn’t look like much, but this is a heavily guarded military compound. I imagine we’ll be escorted inside momentarily.” As he spoke, the Doctor thought furiously, expanding his senses in an attempt to figure out when and where they had landed. As one timeline began to clear in his mind, his prediction that they’d be joined by those guarding the compound was confirmed. 

Within five minutes, the Doctor and Rose had been roughly escorted inside the compound by three armed guards. They’d been pulled apart and cuffed, forced to walk silently inside, and the Doctor cringed every time the guards’ guns clanked beside him. The uncomfortable tingle in his mind persisted, and while a part of his impressive mind focused on the clearing timeline, his primary goal at this time was to keep Rose within his sight and preferably her hand in his. If that meant keeping his normally loquacious mouth shut to ensure her safety, so be it. 

Once clearing the entry station and arriving at the main hall to the compound, the Doctor’s eyes widened in shock. Rose gasped quietly a few meters away. The inside of the dilapidated compound was an extremely modern, high tech facility. The place was abuzz with noise: the sounds of machinery in the distance, a low murmur of voices echoing through the halls, and the underlying sound of energy strumming through the walls. 

“Where are we?” The Doctor asked, unable to maintain his silence. 

“Why don’t you first tell me what you were doing with your sonic technology around the gate? Then maybe I’ll tell you where you are,” a commanding voice demanded to his right. 

The Doctor and Rose turned to face the newcomer, and as the Doctor saw the name on the woman’s uniform, the timeline slid into place, and the reason for his unease became clear. His hearts sank and stuttered, as his fear for Rose became paramount. _Oh no._ They had to get out of there. 

He swallowed his fear and plastered a smile on his face. “Hello! I’m the Doctor and this is Rose Tyler. We’re just innocent travelers, and we’d like nothing more to get back to our ship.” The Doctor briefly cut his gaze to Rose, and he knew she saw the thinly veiled panic in his eyes. She shifted uncomfortably. “But I know who you are. You’re Commander Rizzlon, leader of the Section 28 Scarlet Resistance Front, and this,” he closed his eyes and took a breath before continuing, staring at the Commander. “This is Yarwa Laan, the final resistance post against the Malum Degeneration, the vicious legion of world conquerors in this galaxy.” The Doctor opened his mouth to continue but was silenced when the Commander stepped forward and pressed a gun to his chest. 

_Always with the guns._

“Doctor!” Rose shouted, and she struggled against the guard holding her back. 

The Commander ignored Rose, and in a voice hard as steel, quietly asked the Doctor, “How do you know this? Who. Are. You?” The tone of her voice left no question that the Doctor had one chance to answer. 

Thinking quickly, the Doctor decided to go with a vague sort of truth, but Rose interjected before he could speak. 

“We’re travelers, like he said. We’re on our honeymoon,” she said smoothly. “And we were supposed to be on a beach right now, drinking banana daiquiris and snorkeling. But when the nav systems on our ship went a bit wrong, we ended up here.”

“That’s all fine and well, but it doesn’t explain how the Doctor knows so much about Section 28. No one knows, and it is _imperative_ that it stays that way. The future of this galaxy depends on it. So, Doctor, tell me, how do you know what we are?” Commander Rizzlon demanded. 

“Please, you have to trust me. I promise, release us, and we’ll leave immediately and return to our ship. Trust me, trust Rose,” the Doctor tried to keep himself from begging, but he was sure the desperate twinge in his voice was obvious. For once in his long lives, he didn’t want to stay, didn’t want to help. His desperation to take Rose and leave was overriding anything else. “Can you at least take these off?” He shook his bound hands. “We won’t go anywhere, not with you lot hovering around like that.”

The Commander gazed at him intently for a moment before nodding to the guards. As soon the cuffs came undone, the Doctor and Rose surged together, embracing between the guards. They quickly separated, but the Doctor kept Rose’s hand clasped firmly between his own. Commander Rizzlon moved away momentarily to confer with another official, and the Doctor used the time to silently communicate with Rose through their new found telepathy. 

_Doctor, what’s going on?_

_Rose, we have to leave_. The Doctor allowed some of the panic coursing through his veins to be felt by Rose.

_But why, Doctor? Can’t they use our help?_

The Doctor answered with a mixture of words and pictures. _On this day, in three hours time, Section 28 will issue a virus into the air and planetary information systems that have been overridden by the Malum. This will immediately incapacitate the Degeneration presence on this planet, and due to a shared genetic quirk, this virus will be spread through the entire Malum population throughout the galaxy. Section 28 will have exactly 10 minutes to initiate a destruction sequence to destroy this planet, and when the Malum Degeneration headquartered on this planet are destroyed with their genetic link, the entire Malum Degeneration around the galaxy will be defeated._

Rose gaped at him a moment before sending a thought. _But that means, all these people, they’ll die. Can’t you help them? Bring the TARDIS back? Save them? Save someone?_

The Doctor quickly scanned the timelines once more and closed his eyes when the reality of the situation settled around him, despite his ingrained desire to help and to intervene. He knew he’d described the concept of a fixed point with Rose after her father’s death, and he hoped she remembered what it meant.

_It has to happen, doesn’t it? It’s final, somehow, whatever you’re feeling. Like there’s no question. We can’t do anything, can we?_ Rose’s presence surrounded him, and despite her confusion, he knew she’d stand by whatever he decided to do.

The Doctor stared into Rose’s eyes. _It’s fixed. All we can do is walk away. The events here have to happen so the rest of the galaxy can survive._

Rose squeezed the Doctor’s hand in response, acknowledging his words, and he held his breath as the Commander turned back to them. 

“The virus will work,” the Doctor prompted, earning further scrutiny from Commander Rizzlon. “I know you need to know how I know, but as I said earlier, you have to trust me. Commander, the events here today will save your galaxy. Your sacrifice will be worth it.”

“How do you know, Doctor? How can you know we’ll be successful? _How can you know such things_?” 

“I think you know, and you also know that I can’t tell you. Commander, you have a choice right now. Let us go, so the events of this day can fall into place. Or keep us, and risk everything you’ve been working for: freedom, your families, _life_.” The Doctor explained.

They stared at each other a moment longer, before the Commander sighed. “It will work, Doctor?”

“Yes.”

“Then leave now. You’ll be escorted to another exit. Godspeed, Doctor.” Commander Rizzlon straightened and brusquely dismissed them. 

**+++++**

One hour later the Doctor, followed closely by Rose, strode inside the TARDIS and immediately turned to the console to begin the dematerialization sequence. Once they were safely in the vortex, his shoulders slumped, and he leaned forward, placing both hands on the console. His ragged breaths pulled Rose to his side. 

“Doctor,” she breathed softly, placing one of her hands on his. “Doctor, I need to know what happened back there.” She’d never felt such a finality to his thoughts, as if there was no question about whether or not the events there were supposed to happen. He’d mentioned it was a fixed point, but she still didn’t understand why they couldn’t have helped or at least save someone. She trusted him, always, but his desperation worried her.

She felt the Doctor shudder beside her, and she gasped when he finally looked her way. His eyes were dark, shuttered by grief and loss and pain. Tugging his hand, she led him silently from the console room and down the corridor to the library. It was the place they usually ended up after a rough adventure, when they both needed time to unwind and process the events of that day. Today had been one of those days. 

“Doctor, talk to me,” Rose prompted gently, knowing he needed to explain things to her. 

“It’s just another fixed point, more people I can’t save, more loss in favor of the greater good,” the Doctor exploded bitterly. “It’s never ending, Rose. Sometimes it’s easy to forget, easy to hide in the back of my mind, but then I find myself in moments like today, and it all comes rushing back.”

Rose studied the Doctor as he pulled at his hair. They’d been in situations like this before, and she wasn’t sure why this was any different. She kneeled in front of him and took his hands, stilling their nervous movements. “Doctor, please calm down. Start at the beginning.”

The Doctor took a deep breath. “Three hundred thousand years from your time, the Nitli Galaxy will be overrun by the Malum Degeneration, a group of vicious aliens who travel from planet to planet destroying all life and existence. They’re far worse than space pirates; they leave no life, nothing, and consider themselves to be a superior species, much like the Daleks, only they have no ability to travel through time and only limited ability to travel through space. The Scarlet Resistance Front is the only hope for the galaxy, and as you saw today, they found a way to infiltrate the planet the Malum claimed as theirs. Mind you, it used to belong to the very people you met today, so it was really reestablishing an unspoken claim on the planet. Using their special sonic technology, that’s how they detected my sonic, they were able to avoid detection and build the virus to defeat the Malum.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that. What’s the virus?” Rose asked.

“The Malum are, were, connected as a species through a specific telepathic connection. Having successfully captured one of their kind, Commander Rizzlon and her resistance found a way to disable the Malum as a whole, using this connection.” He paused, knowing the worst part of the story was yet to come. “The telepathic incapacitation would only last for ten minutes, however, and those people we met today, Rose, they’re responsible for detonating a bomb that destroyed not only the Malum as a whole, but the planet and themselves.”

“They sacrificed themselves for their people, then,” Rose breathed, beginning to understand the Doctor’s turmoil. “Doctor? What would have happened? If they hadn’t done what they did?”

He was silent for a moment as Rose suspected he searched the timelines. “The Malum would have destroyed the galaxy and eventually moved on to another one, using stolen technology.”

“‘S like what you did, with your planet and the Daleks? With Gallifrey and your people.” 

The Doctor looked up and nodded, and her heart broke at the tears visible in his eyes. “There’s something I’ve never told you, Rose, something you need to know. I had a family, Rose. Children, a wife, a familial unit, of sorts. It wasn’t like you know a family to be. The children were genetically engineered in a process called looming, and my wife was, well, it was a political union. I never had any real relationship with any of them, except my granddaughter Susan. She traveled with me for a while, oh so long ago. But still, they’re gone now. They’re all gone now. Because of me, I killed them.”

Rose had been intensely curious about his comment regarding kids when they’d been in London for the Olympics, and hearing his explanation filled her with sadness. “Doctor, look at me.” Rose stood up and sat down close to the Doctor, cupping his cheek in her hand as she turned his face to hers. “You had to, Doctor, you had no choice, yeah? I know you, Doctor, and if there had been any other way, you would have found it. You protect the ones you love, Doctor. Even the ones you don’t love. If I’ve learned anything in my travels with you, it’s that there’s always another way, until there isn’t. An’ sometimes you have to make the decision that no one else will. Those people today, they made that decision. They’d already made that decision.”

The Doctor gave Rose a tender look and wrapped her in his arms. “How do you do it, Rose? How are you able to see the light in me? Any good at all? _The killer of his own kind_.”

“I thought we weren’t going to listen to the Beast, Doctor.”

“It’s hard to ignore the things the Beast said about you. And I can’t shake the feeling that something’s coming, something that’s going to take you away from me. I can’t bear the thought, Rose. I think that’s part of the reason I wanted to leave today. Anything that puts you in danger is my responsibility, and- ” 

Rose put a finger on his lips, stopping him mid-sentence. “No, Doctor. It’s not your responsibility. I made the choice to travel with you. You asked, twice, and I ran into the TARDIS and haven’t looked back. I don’t regret the choices I’ve made, and I refuse to live my life in fear.”

She shifted so she straddled the Doctor’s legs and wrapped her hands around his neck before catching his gaze. “I chose to live, Doctor, to run with you, by your side, with your hand in mine. Maybe something is coming, but I’m not going to wait for it.”

The Doctor lurched forward and squeezed her tight. They fell over onto the sofa, side by side, and he whispered, “Thank you, Rose.” He was silent a few moments. “You know, when I first met you it was only a few weeks after the Time War.”

Rose was stunned, and her eyes widened in surprise. 

“And I met this silly little human who demanded answers from me, challenged me, and saved me. And then I invited you along, twice, and you’ve changed me in every way. I want to be better because of you, Rose. You offered me forgiveness when I couldn’t give that to myself.”

Rose leaned forward and kissed the Doctor softly on the lips. She knew all this already, but she also knew how hard it was for him to admit these things. To let himself be loved and forgiven. And so, since showing was often more effective than telling, Rose let her feelings and thoughts about him flow from her mind to the Doctor through their touching bodies. 

And for a little while longer, they pushed the darkness away and found comfort in each other.


End file.
